What to do when you feel like a fraud

You’re kidding yourself if you don’t

I’ve been feeling like a fraud lately.

As a writer in the areas of self-improvement, personal growth, minimalism, and positivity (to name a few), it’s important to me to

And I haven’t.

I’ve been talking a good game, but I haven’t been living out what I say I’m all about.

Failure #1: I’ve been spending money like it grows on trees right now. We downsized to an apartment after selling our home and had some extra disposable income.

I definitely disposed of it.

While I could easily cut myself some slack, it becomes much tougher when I’ve been working on paying down debt and am devoted to minimalism.

It certainly doesn’t look like it when I’m buying stuff I don’t need. Instead of paying some extra money toward a parent-student loan, I bought some new clothes. I could say it’s justified because I have a new job and so I’m treating myself to new clothes, but it’s not out of necessity. I already had pretty much what I needed but felt like I just HAD to get more.

Failure #2: I consider myself a pretty mellow, go with the flow kind of person, but I’ve been tense. Anxious for no reason. Short and terse in what should be relaxed situations.

As we walked through a store recently, I confessed how I had been feeling to my husband and he confirmed those thoughts. He said I haven’t been like my usual self in that little things have gotten to me that usually have no bearing on me at all.

I wracked my brain, “Why?”

And then it dawned on me.

I haven’t intentionally participated in guided meditation in what feels like weeks. I didn’t realize how much of an impact it had on my life until I wasn’t doing it.

Even though I practice for only 10 minutes a day, it’s amazing what a difference those minutes make and I was missing out big time.

Failure #3: I’ve gotten away from being positive. That’s one thing about myself that I love more than just about anything else. I’m positive and happy. While I haven’t been necessarily negative, I’ve just been, “meh.”

I’ve been going through the motions rather than living life with the zeal that I profess to live it with. When you have a tattoo with the Swedish word, Lisvnjutare, “one who loves life deeply and lives it to the fullest,” and you are doing what feels like the opposite…you pretty much feel like a big ol’ fraud.

I know I’m not the only one this happens to. We all feel like frauds at times. We’re not perfect, and we are going to make mistakes. There’s so much we can do when this happens (and you’re kidding yourself if it has never happened to you).

Yes, there are times in our lives when we feel more like a fraud than the genuine person we are. It happens. But when it does happen, give yourself grace, get out of your own head, reflect on gratitude, laugh, or let it go.

It’s okay to have those moments of failure. It’s not okay to continue to wallow in them.

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